About Your Captain

Hi, everybody! This is your Captain speaking. You can call me “Cas” if you want.

I’m in my 40s. I spent the first half of my life in Christianity in various denominations starting with Catholicism and ending with fundamentalist Pentecostalism, then turned around and left it all behind about 20 years ago. I love tabletop RP games, history, traveling, 80s pop culture, and (duh) cats, and you’ll probably get an earful about all of them in due time.

If you’re wondering what my background is, I was married to a preacher who was angling for full-time pastor/ministry work. I’ve studied and read extensively about history, sociology, game theory, and a host of other topics, and hold a degree that involves history and psychology. I will never pretend to have been some kind of expert at advanced theology, but I know a fair amount, and I’m very familiar with most of Christianity’s doctrines and ideas. I’m also quite familiar with other religions’ ideas.

You’ll likely notice that I don’t talk much about my beliefs or current relationships/jobs/situations here. I don’t think my  current religious leanings or opinions are relevant to a discussion of Christianity, and I don’t think it’s respectful to proselytize, so if you leave it at “deist” or “humanist,” you’ll be close enough. I don’t identify as an atheist, though I am very sympathetic to atheism and share its over-arching goals of promoting science and critical thinking and also helping to bring about a secular society where folks are free to pursue spiritual fulfillment however they think best. I’m not willing to go so far as to say that I don’t think there are any gods, just that I am 100% certain and comfortable saying at this point that the god portrayed in the Bible can’t possibly be real.

Dale Arden

Dale Arden (Photo credit: Wikipedia). I don’t look a thing like this.

For a long time, I was fairly quiet about my disbelief and my having left the religion. “Live and let live, that’s my motto,” as Dale Arden said. I was out of the loop for a good long time. Then I realized that with religion’s growing encroachment on people’s rights, that a big part of Christianity was becoming downright abusive in its grasp for power. When I returned my attention to the matter, I was shocked to see just how politicized Christianity had become and how shamelessly it was hurting people and alienating them. Clearly I’d missed a lot after deconverting, and the more I saw as I caught up, the more horrified I was. Finally, it became crystal-clear that staying silent was not an option anymore for me. Abusers depend upon their victims’ silence. And so I am not silent anymore.

A quick little note about names and other specific details:

As you might guess, I usually change the names of private people in this blog. Public figures, of course, don’t get renamed. I also reserve the right to change small details about specific incidents so they’re harder to track and trace. My memory is also not perfect, so I research things as much as possible, but there are points–especially in my “testimony”–where dates may not work out perfectly. If a date or some other specific detail is terribly important, I will make sure it’s correct. If I can’t, I’ll make clear that I’m not totally sure about it.

On that note, my preacher ex-husband is not actually named “Biff.” I call him that because he’d remind you of the villain from the movie Back to the Future. He was big, kind of a tough guy, talked a big game, misused big words and couldn’t construct an analogy if his life depended on it, and had a dismal view of women’s rights and bodily autonomy. At least he was more cute and charming than the movie Biff and at least at first not quite as threatening.

Atheist stickers.

Atheist stickers. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

11 Responses to About Your Captain

  1. Did I tell you already? Probably not. I nominated you (and only one other blog) for the Very Inspiring Blog (VIB) award … details at my own blog. Ignore it, celebrate it, or whatever, but know that this nomination comes from a very sincere place and will not be revoked even if the zombie apocalypse occurs.


  2. Rubin S. Lloyd says:

    Atheism is without God. It does not assert no God. The atheist does not say that there is no God, but he says “I know not what you mean by God. I am without the idea of God. The word God to me is a sound conveying no clear or distinct affirmation. I do not deny God, because I cannot deny that of which I have no conception, and the conception of which by its affirmer is so imperfect that he is unable to define it for me.”
    — Charles Bradlaugh


  3. Pingback: Joyce Meyer: Prosperity Gospel for Women (Is A Crock). | Roll to Disbelieve

  4. Pingback: Why I Quit the Christian Faith (Revised) | godless in dixie

  5. Btw, I couldn’t think of anywhere else to put this, but I wanted to offer you congratulations on the new blog on Patheos you’ll be contributing to. I originally heard the news from Neil over at Godless in Dixie. I think it’s great that the Patheos community will benefit from your insights! Way to go!


  6. Atheist Max says:


    You said,
    “Then I realized that with religion’s growing encroachment on people’s rights, that a big part of Christianity was becoming downright abusive in its grasp for power.”

    Yes indeed!
    That was what pulled me out from the closet to admit to everyone that I do not believe in the God of the Bible. I could not in good conscience keep letting people in my life assume I was “with them” on biblical nonsense.

    I see Christian bullying in the Hobby Lobby case
    The schools full of Creationism instead of science
    the climate change deniers
    The Greece NY – pushing Religious prayer into public meetings to out the non-believers
    and countless example of infringements on women’s rights and gay rights.

    I make no apologies for not being able to believe in gods.
    It is great to see so many folks like yourself speaking up and letting the world know we are not alone. We Atheists, Agnostics and Secularists need a break – I hope the pendulum is beginning to swing our way for a while.


    • Absolutely. If we don’t speak up, then religious zealots will continue to steamroll and trample people’s rights. I really think a big part of how they got that power because nobody spoke up effectively enough or in great enough numbers to stop them.

      And on that note, I’m so thrilled to see you here! I’ve been enjoying and learning from your comments on RNS for just ages and only just today noticed you mentioning that your name there could be clicked to find your blog. Five minutes later I was reading it! Congratulations on breaking free–and I hope you keep hanging out on RNS. It’s just hilarious how freaked out you get the zealots there. Thanks again for finding me in turn :)

      Liked by 2 people

  7. HeresToTheSecondHalfOfMyLife says:

    You are one of the on-line voices I have discovered that have inspired and encouraged me in my journey away from the Christian community. I relate to your background in some ways and have great solace in hearing a voice to my experiences (I am in my 40’s, trying to divorce my own “Biff” [GOD, how appropriate!], raised in the church, became atheist about a year ago….and picking up the pieces). I like you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi and be welcome! Glad to have you here. It’s wonderful to meet someone else moving out of that awful muck. You’ll find a lot of folks in similar situations around here. Good luck on ditching your Biff–and if the name is as appropriate for yours as it was for mine, then friend, I am 100% rooting for you to get free as fast as possible.


      • HeresToTheSecondHalfOfMyLife says:

        Ha! Thank you! Actually I had nicknamed him “the Governor” a while ago after the way he likes to strut around shaking people’s hands and talking himself up. Especially about his goodness and ministries to all the down-trodden you can imagine: from local homeless to under-age Thia prostitutes.
        Now just trying to escape with the shirt on my back and custody of my kids. I didn’t know so many people were going through similar things. it has amazed me. Thanks again for the rooting…


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