Weddings make me so emotional. They’re such a raw, visceral statement of hope and love, such a singularity of joy, a shriek of intention heard ‘cross the rooftops of the world. So yes: every state that gets equal marriage, you can bet I’m bawling like a baby over the thrilled and happy faces of those people who suddenly get to make a formal commitment to the people they love the most in the world. They seem like starving orphans who’ve just discovered they’ve inherited a gold mine.
There’s something about that shocked joy, that sudden sense of overflowing plenty after years of starvation and denial that I can see in the face of every single person who gets the right to marry, that just hits me right in the heart. “Oh, yay, another state! Cas is in tears right now.” You might as well just link the two ideas in your mind right now because that’s not changing anytime soon. (I wouldn’t want it to anyway.)
I’ve gotta say this though: Utah, you’ve shocked and surprised me. I’d have thought you’d be the last. I really would have. But here we are. Look at this amazing article about how people are lining up to get to Utah’s county clerks’ offices to get married before something terrible happens to take it all away.
I know how it feels to know that my human rights and liberties are up for grabs. I know how scary it is to think that a tyrannical majority can seize control of my life and deny me the right to make my own personal decisions. I know how truly ephemeral the rights of Others can be, especially in a very zealous environment like Utah can be. I know, I talked to a Christian just yesterday who was absolutely convinced that he had some kind of right to deny people their rights and liberties and that his approval or disapproval mattered even in the slightest to what other consenting adults do in private. He’s just one of a vast swathe of zealots who are clinging hard to privilege. (BTW, he was quite miffed over the idea that no, nobody really cares what he thinks about anybody else’s life decisions.)
So I rejoice in this wondrous holiday present: the good guys won. We won. Marriage won. Love won.
Congratulations, Utah, congratulations, and I hope this equality lasts. My full support and solidarity go with the couples rushing to the courthouses in that state. Wish I could bake every single mother’s son and daughter of ‘em cakes. To all nine hells with those bigoted bakers and everybody else who’d deny the flowering of this love–it’s their loss in every single way. This is love. LOVE. LOVE is blossoming here. LOVE is flowing here. LOVE. I defy any bigot to look at the wedding pictures flowing from this week and tell me this is in any way unholy or wrong. No truly good divine being could condemn something this truly beautiful.
I know that folks can be jaded sometimes. But news of joy like this breaks through the facades and reminds us all of what is really important this time of year. Please, I invite you, step back, think about this, think about all those couples who have fought and wept and raged and hurt because of their love, but who loved anyway, who did not let every obstacle “society” put in their way stop them from loving, and who love so much they are willing to tear through hell itself to make a lifelong commitment to the folks they love and they are doing it right now this second because if they wait, this amazing opportunity to declare their love and formalize it could be taken away just like ” that. And indeed, bigots are already trying to get the genie back into the bottle, so these fears are quite reasonable (though as one blogger’s pointed out, Utah’s arguments against marriage equality are ridiculously stupid and irrational so it seems unlikely at this point that it can happen–but one never knows).
Folks, here’s the miracle–the shocking and amazing miracle, right here, that kind of love that doesn’t care what anybody says, that doesn’t want to wait a single second lest the opportunity be dashed away, that wants dignity and expression no matter what.
I love the whole wide world right now. I’m a mess. We’ll definitely talk tomorrow about the planned topic, but I just had to say this right now, while my joy is fresh, while my tears are fresh. What a wonderful holiday present. What a joyous time those families are going to have. Congratulations to them all, and best wishes for their lives together.
Oh, where’s my tissue box..
Here’s some articles about it, if you needed some links; don’t miss the one from ThinkProgress–it’s very good.
- BREAKING: Federal Court In Utah Says Marriage Equality Is Required By The Constitution (thinkprogress.org)
- Utah Court Refuses Governor’s Appeal, Equal Marriage Remains (eile.ie)
- First Gay Couple to Get Married in Utah: “Love Comes Like a Thief in the Night.” (religiondispatches.org)
- How A Federal Judge In Utah Adeptly Dismantled All Of The Arguments Against Marriage Equality (thinkprogress.org)
- Finally, Utah (tasithoughts.com)
- Rachel Maddow on Yesterday’s Ruling: ‘It’s Freaking Utah!’ – VIDEO (towleroad.com)
- Gay marriage catches conservative Utah off guard (sacbee.com)
- Confusion at county clerk’s office after Utah’s same-sex marriage ban struck down (fox13now.com)
- Utah Tries to Block Gay Marriage (nation.time.com)